A Lesson in Kindness

Last week, I had an opportunity to observe a group therapy session at the Van Demark building at the SFCH campus. I was excited to see one of the many services we provide our kids. However, it wasn’t long before my observations quickly turned into a moment of reflection.

Before being introduced to the kiddos, Katelynn Beldin, a Residential Therapist in the Van Up building, explained that each group therapy session focuses on a theme the kids are working on. She walked us back to the living room area, and we waited for everyone to find their seats and settle in.

After some brief introductions, Katelynn told the boys and girls, “…today we will be talking about kindness.”

She started by having the kiddos list who we should be kind to. The answer is everyone, including ourselves. Then, she asked the kids to come up with examples of how we can be kind to others. The ideas they came up with blew me away. One little girl brought up smiles and how we can be kind by simply sharing a smile with each other.

After the group listened to a story on the different acts of kindness, we headed outside for a quick activity. Each kiddo was given a red paper plate and a small tube of toothpaste. Katelynn asked the kids for examples of unkind words. They raised their hands and gave answers like saying swear words, making threats to others, calling yourself ugly, not saying thank you, and so on. After every example, she had the kids put a dollop of toothpaste on the paper plate.

“Now I want you to put all the toothpaste back into the tube,” said Katelynn.

Some children thought it was going to be an easy task; others could tell it was going to be difficult. A minute later, some kiddos started asking for help. Katelynn passed out popsicle sticks and told the kids to try and scoop the toothpaste back in. It brought a smile to my face when a little girl asked me to sit next to her and help her with her toothpaste. In the end, she was more excited to show me her blue-covered fingers than trying to get the toothpaste back in the bottle!

After about ten minutes, the plates were still saturated, and more toothpaste was on hands than back in the bottles. Katelynn called the group back together after everyone had accepted defeat.

“These red plates represent our hearts, the toothpaste is the unkind words we say and think, and the popsicle stick is when we say, ‘I’m sorry,’” explained Katelynn. “Every time we say mean things to others or think bad thoughts about ourselves, it leaves a stain on our hearts. Even if we say, ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I was just joking,’ you can never take back what you said.”

As the kiddos and I sat in silence, I began to ponder Katelynn’s words.

Kindness—we all know what it is. Hopefully, we’ve all encountered it in some way, but we also have all experienced those moments where maybe we said something mean or acted awful to someone. Or maybe that person we were mean to was ourselves.

To witness a visual representation of the power of our words and the effects they have on our hearts, even when we offer an apology, was an eye-opening experience.

Our words and actions are powerful and can impact us in so many ways. I challenge you to do a random act of kindness. It can be saying something nice to someone you normally don’t get along with, holding a door open for a stranger, or simply offering someone a smile. We can all keep each other accountable and strive to be better together.

Sometimes, we need to see things through the eyes of a child to remember the simple lessons—to smile and always be kind.

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Krystal Schoenbauer is the Communications Specialist at Children’s Home Society. She handles internal communication like Good Works Weekly, as well as external communication like building relationships with the media. If you have a story you want told, contact her at krystal.schoenbauer@chssd.org.