Every Ending Has a Beginning

Seniors across the country are donning their graduation caps and gowns to receive their diplomas. Graduates at any level—kindergarten, high school and college—are feeling a mix of emotions during this time—a yearning for new beginnings, anxiety about the future, sadness of leaving behind the familiar, and excitement for what’s ahead.

Three weeks ago, South Dakota School of Mines student Tom Barnett felt all of those emotions as he waited patiently to walk across the stage and receive his degree in Industrial Engineering and Engineering Management. For Barnett, graduation marked a significant goodbye to friends he had made and the home he created.

“Moving on to a new chapter in life is exciting, but also a little hard,” Barnett said. “You make all these friends and then you have to say goodbye to them.”

At 24, Barnett’s said more goodbyes than most and through his hardships, he’s learned an important lesson—we alone control how we respond to life’s challenges. It’s something he learned during his time in residential treatment at Children’s Home Society (CHS).

The Madsen House looked like this when Tom was a resident at CHS.

After experiencing adversities early in life, Barnett arrived at CHS in Sioux Falls on April 8, 2011, at just 10 years old. Like most children entering CHS, he was first placed in an evaluation residential unit, where caseworkers and therapists collaborated to develop the best plan of care for him.

Fourteen years later, Clinical Unit Supervisor Dawn Endsley still recalls Barnett.

“I remember Tom from when he was here at our Madsen House unit. He stayed for roughly two months before he moved into our long-term residential unit to finish his treatment,” Endsley said. “When he arrived, he was this little guy with dark hair and glasses—and he loved helping others.”

She recalled a moment when Barnett struggled to find strategies to calm himself down. “I remember him talking about books. So, I suggested he try reading as a calming strategy. He agreed and it worked great for him.”

Along with reading, Barnett developed a deep appreciation for other things, like nature. “I remember a staff member that would take groups of us on walks around the nature trails,” Barnett said. “That fostered my love for hiking and being outdoors.” Today, he still finds comfort and peace in the wilderness and has even gone on a few backpack excursions.

The children love exploring the campus nature trails and searching for wildlife—otters, fish, turkeys, rabbits, and of course, deer.

Research shows that spending time outdoors has many positive effects on children, including increased physical activity, reduced stress and anxiety, improved focus and enhanced social skills. Endsley noted that for some kids, nature can become a safety net.

“People can be unpredictable,” she explained. “For some of these kids, nature may feel safer. Being outside grounds them and allows us to practice mindfulness. I’ve seen nature impact many healing journeys here at CHS.”

While the outdoors offered Barnett a sense of calm and stability, it was the close-knit community at CHS that showed him how to build meaningful relationships. Living closely with other kids who had faced similar struggles made forming friendships feel natural to him.

“It’s a close environment and you're living with a bunch of other kids,” he said. “It’s really easy to make friends. That’s invaluable, especially as a young kid who's going through a lot. I definitely got better at making friends during my time at CHS. Now, I do it easily.”

After 13 months at CHS, Barnett was ready to move forward. On his final day, he participated in a CHS tradition: the discharge party.

Most children at CHS experiences two discharge parties—one when they leave the evaluation unit and another when they complete their program. These parties are filled with fun activities, heartfelt goodbyes, and, of course, sweet treats. CHS tries to make these farewells positive and meaningful because, for some children, goodbyes can often trigger difficult memories.

“We believe it’s important to give our kids a positive goodbye experience,” said Endsley. “Some of them have gone through traumatic situations, or big changes where they didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. We show them what a healthy goodbye looks like, and we practice it with them.”

CHS staff prepare children for departure by having honest conversations about leaving and focusing on the emotions involved. Sometimes, they notice children acting out before a discharge, which signals a need for extra support.

“Some kids fall back into old habits and have big emotions,” Endsley explained. “That usually tells us they don’t know how to say goodbye. They think, ‘If you dislike me, it won’t hurt so much when I leave.’ We don’t fault them for feeling this way. These kids have built significant relationships here. For many, this is one of the first places where they’ve had that kind of success and belonging. Leaving that behind is tough.”

Home visits also help children prepare to leave. These visits give them a glimpse into their new lives with their guardians or foster families. CHS staff may also create countdown calendars or other tools to make the transition smoother—for both the departing child and the ones staying behind.

“Sometimes, the kids who are being said goodbye to are often more affected than the child leaving,” Endsley said. “It reminds them of their journey and the waiting and work they still have to do.”

Watching someone leave is bittersweet and often stirs up emotions, but being able to acknowledge and accept change takes a particular kind of strength.

“It takes a lot of courage to say goodbye,” said Endsley. “To say, ‘This is hard because you’re important to me’—that’s vulnerable.”

That courage is something Barnett knows firsthand. As he said goodbye to his college friends, he was brought back to the moment when he left CHS.

“I remember when I said goodbye to everybody at CHS. It was kind of like graduating college in a way,” said Barnett.

While reflecting on that goodbye, he recognized how quickly relationships can form and the real impact of parting ways. Still, those goodbyes are filled with hope for a brighter future.

“You make these friends and have to say goodbye. But the reason is a good one—you’re moving on to a new chapter. It's hard, sure, but you’re going to a better place. You wish the best for your friends, and they do the same for you.”

Leaving college wasn’t easy, but Barnett is excited for his next adventure. He recently moved to Wisconsin to join Nestlé USA after being accepted into their 2025 Manufacturing Leadership Development program. The one-year leadership initiative will provide him with hands-on experience in factory operations, leadership training and an opportunity to step into a supervisory role.

He believes his past experiences will guide him on this new path and help him become a strong leader.

“Going through as many hardships as I did at such a young age kind of just turns you into a natural problem solver,” said Barnett. “The problems have changed, of course, but the approach still applies.”

News about Barnett’s success has brought joy to CHS employees. Endsley is grateful to have played just a small part in his pathway to success.

“It was a privilege to be a small part of removing barriers and creating pathways with him. We are so proud he’s been able to find his way to such great success!”