Imagine moving 24 times during a period of six years.
And imagine that you aren’t moving with your family. You are alone. And you’re moving from one family to another.
According to Black Hills Children’s Home Therapist Rachel Walton, Day’Qwan entered the state’s care in 2017, when he was five. “He had many foster care placements, both in Rapid City and Sioux Falls. That included basic foster care, therapeutic foster care, emergency foster care and then psychiatric residential treatment.”
In 2018, Day’Qwan began residential care at Black Hills Children’s Home, along
with his older brother. “He was with his brother on the same living unit,” says Rachel. “They would argue, act out and gang up together on other kids.”
“At the same time, Day’Qwan very much lived in the shadow of his brother. His brother would talk for him, would get things for him, would get him out of trouble and get him in trouble.”
Eventually the brothers left residential care for a foster placement which was a possible adoptive home. It lasted only three months. The older brother was removed from the foster home first and returned to Children’s Home. Day’Qwan’s behavior deteriorated, and he was also sent back to Children’s Home, but this time on a different unit.
“And when he was separated from his brother, he blossomed,” Rachel shares. “He could become his own person. His brother had just tried to control him and kind of smothered his growth.”
That’s when Rachel became Day’Qwan’s therapist. “He was very quiet and reserved. He tried to be as invisible as possible,” she says. At first in therapy he would often write or draw to communicate but began to open up over time.
In June of 2022, Day’Qwan was discharged from residential treatment, after making excellent progress.
Before long he joined his older brother at the home of CHS Therapeutic Foster Care provider Jodi Lindstrom. Therapeutic Foster Care operated by CHS is a higher level of care for children with behavioral or emotional needs. Providers receive additional training and continuous support from our case managers and therapists.
While the goal had always been to keep the two brothers together, Day’Qwan’s older brother soon moved on to another placement. Day’Qwan began to recognize his own voice, developing those inner thoughts of coping, practicing new skills in a safe setting and growing in his resilience of past trauma.
Jodi noticed something similar. “After his brother left,
I got to see a whole new side of Day’Qwan,” she says. “He started to make more progress in school and in the home.”
In 2023, the boys’ aunt in Illinois was approved to become their legal guardian. “The older brother was very excited about moving there,” Jodi says, “But Day’Qwan was not.”
“He said he didn’t want to leave our home. He didn’t want to leave me. He didn’t want to live with his brother because of how it was the first time that we tried it here. He didn’t want to live with people he didn’t know or remember. He didn’t want to change schools. He didn’t want to be so far away.”
It’s extraordinarily difficult for children to navigate relationships between their biological families and foster or adoptive families. For Day’Qwan to make such a brave decision for himself at age 11 was remarkable. But Jodi, Day’Qwan and a host of friends and supporters wrote letters which convinced the judge to allow him to stay with Jodi.
That’s around the time Jodi started thinking about adopting him. Department of Social Services staff had asked her previously about adopting him, but at that time, Day’Qwan still wanted reunification with his biological family, so Jodi declined. But when they asked the second time, she agreed.
And so, Day’Qwan officially became a Lindstrom—his choice— that day in the courtroom.
“Thinking back on the progress that he’s made—he’s feeling comfortable, not in that fight or flight mode anymore,” Jodi says. “He knows that this is his house now. He’s not going to be up and moved at any given time. He’s established friends at school and relationships at church and with neighborhood kids. And now he gets to be a typical kid instead of a kid in care.”
Jodi is committed to keeping Day’Qwan connected to his biological family to the extent he wants. “We have talked to his biological mom and sister, so they know about the adoption,” Jodi says.
“The sister was very excited about the adoption.” They’d met several times when Day’Qwan was in foster care at Jodi’s. “She and I built a trust-based relationship. She knew the boys would be well taken care of and they would have what they need. His mom, on the other hand, she was quite surprised by it.”
After some time, his biological mother thanked Jodi and asked that they keep communication lines open. “We came to an understanding of what her role is as his biological mom and what my role is as his adoptive mom,” she says.
“Day’Qwan loves his family very much. We talk about them often and celebrate their birthdays and things like that.” Although he may feel some guilt from time to time, Jodi believes he is confident in his decision.
Every step of the way, Jodi has worked hand-in-hand with CHS.
She owns and operates a private preschool and in addition to her two biological children and Day’Qwan, she currently has a two-year-old and a three-year old in Therapeutic Foster Care at her home.
Jodi carries a great deal of responsibility and depends on CHS for support. In fact, she says she feels like she’s in partnership with the CHS Therapeutic Foster Care staff. She has relied on them for everything from counseling to training, Christmas gifts and circus tickets.
“I could call my case manager or our therapist and could always find someone within my team to walk me through any issue or give me more tools for my toolbelt,” Jodi says. “If we needed to meet, they were always available the following day for an in-person meeting. Or if we needed to see Dr. Wilson [the CHS psychiatrist], I’m confident we could have gotten an appointment, they would have made it happen.”
Jodi has friends who are foster care providers licensed through other programs. “I always want to tell them to work with CHS instead, because they’ll get more training and support.”
Thanks to CHS Residential Care and Therapeutic Foster Care staff, and Jodi Lindstrom, Day’Qwan is finally home.