Adoption - A Child's Perspective
Posted on November 07, 2019
14-Year old Lucy participates in a short but powerful Q&A about her experience with adoption and what she would want others to know from an adoptive child's perspective.
Q: What would you want to share about adoption?
A: Adoption is not going to be easy for the entire family at first.
I had known my adoptive family for 5 years before I was adopted. But if a kid has just met a new family, it will take a while for them to feel comfortable there. Sometimes kids coming into Foster Care feel like they can't trust anyone. So, coming into a new home, I felt like I needed to protect myself. In Foster Care, I was separated from my siblings. It took my mom forever to get visitation set up, and it was hard not seeing my brothers. I was first removed from my mom when I was 8 years old. I was placed in 4 different foster homes and had tried reunification multiple times before my adoptive parents were identified to be my adoptive parents. My adoption was finalized in May 2019.
Q: What would you want people who are considering adoption to know?
A: Some kids might take it easier than other kids.
My younger siblings are struggling with being adopted because they still think they might get to go back with our mom. I feel like I am handling it well, because I know I am living with my adoptive parents forever. I feel like some adoptive parents do not understand what kids who are adopted go through. Adults who are considering adoption should understand that kids who come into their home might have done things differently in the past, and it takes time to adjust. I hope adoptive parents can be OK with kids not calling them "mom" and "dad" right away. It has taken me 5 years to become comfortable with the idea. I feel uncomfortable when people push the subject. I still consider my birth parents to be my mom and dad, and I still think about them at times, even though I know I will not live with them again.
Q: What would you want children who are eligible for adoption to know?
A: There is going to be someone who cares about you more than you know.
It's not all about the past. There is a future. Sometimes the adoption process can be long, but I found hope being with my siblings and being in a safe home.
*Name and photo are for representation only, to protect the confidentiality of a minor child.